CLOCKCLEANER - BABYLON RULES (LOAD 109)

CLOCKCLEANER WERE A PROVOCATIVE-ISH BAND FROM PHILADELPHIA WHO WRITE THEIR OWN WIKIPEDIA ENTRY LIKE ASSHOLES WOULD IN ORDER TO MAKE THEM SOUND EDGY. I SEEM TO RECALL THEY WERE PRETTY BIG IN VICE MAGAZINE WHICH SORT OF CLUES YOU IN TO EXACTLY HOW FUCKING COOOOOOOOOOOOOOL THEY WERE.

IN FACT HAW HAW HAW HERE'S SOME STUFF FOR A VICE BLOG TOUR DIARY THE SINGER WROTE:

Here is every conversation you will ever hear in Austin: “Blah blah blah, COCAINE, blah blah blah, GARAGE ROCK, blah blah blah BULLET BELTS, blah blah blah BREAKFAST BURRITOS.” This show was cool because it featured the best front row I have ever played in front of. From right to left: two fat pigs grinding their hams into me, one attractive but slightly underage piece—I’d sat 5 to 10—and then SPOT... and then King Coffey. If you don’t know who the last two are, you probably spent high school having sex and being carefree.

WELL I MEAN I IMAGINE HE LOOKS FUCKING AMAZING.

ALL OF THIS DESPERATELY MAKES ME WANT TO DISLIKE CLOCKCLEANER'S MUSIC BUT EVEN I KNOW SHTICK WHEN I SEE IT AND I CAN LOOK PAST IT AND LOOK PAST MYSELF AND SEE THAT THIS IS A GOOD STAB AT POST-BIRTHDAY PARTY/JESUS LIZARD KIND OF STUFF. MAYBE A LITTLE MORE "POST-PUNK" THAN THE JAGGEDY GNARL OF NICK CAVE'S OLD BAND, MAYBE A LITTLE MORE LIKE HUMAN EYE AND REIGNING SOUND. IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE BUT IT IS GOOD ROCK AND ROLL. THE BASTARDS. THEY EVEN HAVE COOL BITS IN SOME OF THEIR SONGS LIKE THE "I'LL DIVE RIGHT IN!" BIT IN 'VOMITING MIRRORS'.

SO I GUESS AGAINST MY BETTER SELF I AM GIVING THIS A CERTIFIED: GOOD EVEN THOUGH I WOULD AVOID THIS GROUP IF I WERE PLAYING ON THE SAME BILL. SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST GOOD AT MUSIC AND CRAP AT PUBLIC SPACES. FORTUNATELY HE'S NOW IN AUSTRALIA AND THUS PROBABLY MELTING AS I TYPE.

CERTIFIED: GOOD