NAUTICAL ALMANAC - ROOTING FOR THE MICROBES (LOAD 061)

"CAROLINER STYLE HORSESHIT" IS MY GO-TO DISMISSAL OF A KIND OF MUSIC THAT IS HARD TO PIN DOWN BUT COULD ESSENTIALLY BE REDUCED BADLY TO A KIND OF POSTMODERN REVISITING OF THE AMERICAN PRIMITIVE IN THE CONTEXT OF 90S/00S NOISE-ROCK/AVANT-NOISE AND REPLACING THE "FOLK" ASPECT WITH A "PLAYFUL" ANTI-MUSICALITY AT THE LEVEL OF COMPETENCE AND ATTEMPT AT "PLEASURE".

*IN THEORY* I COULD BE UP FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT BUT EVERY SINGLE TIME IT RESULTS IN HORRENDOUS JERKING OFF. THIS ONE IS NO DIFFERENT. IT GOES ON FOR OVER SIXTY PUNISHING MINUTES. I'M NOT SAYING EVERYONE SHOULD BE GERSHWIN WHEN IT COMES TO CRAFT BUT HOW MANY PEOPLE DID THIS NOISE-AS-FREE-EXPRESSION RACKET CON? TOO MANY. IF ONE PERSON IS THINKING THIS IS GOOD TO PUT OUT FOR COMMERCIAL RELEASE THEN THEY'VE GONE POTTY.

THIS IS CAROLINER-STYLE HORSESHIT OF THE NTH DEGREE. IT MAKES CAROLINER'S ACTUAL HORSESHIT SEEM LIKE A PLEASANT WEEKEND AWAY WITH LOVED ONES. I HATE THIS RECORD MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE ON LOAD SO FAR. TAKE THEIR MONEY AWAY. MAKE THEM FOCUS AGAIN. FUCK OFF.

RATED: RANCID